Jokes!

Irene said, "Emily, I got some coupons but you can't have 'em!!" 

She was speaking to Ilene.

Irene

Reflecting on the super skinny girls in pageants and said, "Those skinny girls wouldn't last a day if they got locked up in a cage! Ain't nothing for the body to feed on! Be eatin the heart, the liver! You know the body is gonna eat itself, it's not just gonna die off. It'll be lookin for some food! Those women in the 16,18,22...they'd last a week! Then someone could come save them."

... what??

Painting, Painting

I've begun painting ketubot (Jewish marriage contracts). I'm selling prints and originals. Here's the beginning of a ketubah that features a hamsa and orange dahlias. 

Obviously not done yet.

I Wore Stretch Pants for their Intended Activity

It was a big day today. It was the first day of my tackling of The List! It was my very first yoga class.

I. Loved. It.

I'm sore and tired and endorphin'd and it's terrific.

Yay for The List!

Love Potion #9

It's almost Valentine's Day! Normally this raises the concern and anger and bad vibes of almost everyone around. I, however, adore Valentine's Day. So, I bring you this template for making valentines to help even the most heartbroken friend. 

Some of the photos are blurry. More to the point, they're a bit vague. Let me know if you need clarity.

Leather Bound Journal

So, I posted awhile ago about how to wrap a gift with scrap leather or suede. Bet you wondered where the leather/suede came from, huh? Well here's where. But this took a million years to put together for you so it's arriving late. Making a journal takes some getting used to, but ultimately it'll work out. 

Yoga

I am super duper serious about this list. So serious I bought a Groupon for yoga classes so that I'm obligated to go or I'm wasting the money.

So.

Next Tuesday at 5:30p I will wear spandex in front of other people while I demonstrate to the world just how inflexible I am. 

Addendum

- Taking unfamiliar public transit systems

The List

I love new year's resolutions. I try to make some at Rosh Hashanah and then some at the Gregorian new year. This year I forgot to make a resolution in January so instead I'm going to make a list of all of the things that I am too embarrassed or scared to do and I will try as many as I can during 2014. I should note, I am terrified of being embarrassed. It makes me miserable and so this will be hard. I have always been comfortable with a lot of things that make other people nervous, and very nervous about things that other people seem to do with with ease. For example, I have no problem dining alone, asking for directions, drawing, etc. but the things on the list below are so nervous-making that it's crazy. With that, I give you The List. I'll keep adding items as they occur to me and I'll post about each accomplishment. I'm not doing them in order, I'll pick and choose. Wish me luck.

This isn't strictly speaking true...
but it will be this year.

- karaoke
- catching things
- throwing things
- running
- kicking things
- dancing
- math
- showing my art
- speaking foreign languages around experts/natives
- saying hebrew prayers aloud
- going to places that expect “insider knowledge”
- going in a cave
- using weight machines
- giving blood
- going to yoga class

Food is for the Weak

This is how Kroger (my local generic grocery store) helps stop hunger...by throwing out all of this food.

Not sure what was wrong with any of this. 

Possum Love, New York Style

It's as if the New York Times has seen my blog...

Opossums are Unloved Yet Hard to Resist

I suppose I should tell you why this blog is called "The Dainty Possum." My dad and I were talking one day and I joked that I'm such a dainty blossom. My father misheard me and said, "Yeah! You are a dainty possum!" We proceeded to joke about how I'm a little bit dainty and a little bit gross. 

Thus, The Dainty Possum was born. 

(My real birthday is November 27th. Don't forget it. I really like presents.)

Totes, yo.

I needed to carry some stuff. However, I think it's crap that bags cost as much as they do. So, I took some random fabrics that I had laying around and made some bags! Each one took about 20 minutes to make. Sometimes they take longer but that's because I'm an idiot who sometimes needs to rip out a seam or 3. 

The Weed Beneath the Floor Boards

I have a neighbor who smokes weed like it's going out of style. She lives below me so the smell of her smoking comes wafting up through my floor. Since I don't smoke and both my boyfriend and I have jobs that will kill us if we use drugs, I can't go around smelling like pot all day. However, I like my neighbor and didn't want to cause some kind of confrontation about her smoking. Sooo I bought her a marijuana cookbook! None of that is really the point. I wanted to wrap the book in a way that would be interesting and not just thin paper with a piece of ribbon around it. I've been making leather bound journals all week so I have scraps of suede laying around. So I took a suede scrap and used it to wrap the cookbook. I wish I had some process photos for you, but really I took the suede and stretch and sewed and wrapped it haphazardly around the book.